October 1999 Parents And The Internet By Rabbi Alvin Kass Judaism has always regarded parents as the most important teachers of their children. This is evident from the fact that a father was traditionally referred to as avi mori, "my father my teacher," while a mother was addressed as imi morati, "my mother my teacher." Our sages were convinced that although a child may learn a great deal in school and from the environment, the most powerful influence upon him is and should be his mother and father. It is striking that, according to the Midrash, at that pivotal moment in human history when God called upon Moses to become the leader of the Jewish people, the Lord "revealed Himself to Moses in the voice of his father." The Almighty understood that children will be moved to accept the noblest aspirations and most difficult challenges only if they hear their parents speaking to them. Quite similarly, the Sages were convinced that Joseph earned the title Hatzadik, the Righteous One, because he always kept before him "the image of his father." Thus, he acquired the strength to resist the immoral temptations that encompassed him during his long sojourn in Egypt by looking up to a parent whose probity and purity provided an inspiring model, worthy of emulation. Unfortunately, the parents of today teach their children far less than the parents of prior generations. In most homes, both parents work, often at multiple jobs that demand a heavy investment of time. Hence, much of the week parents simply aren't around; and, even when they are physically present, they are frequently physocologically absent as a result of fatigue and a desire to use whatever spare time they have for their own pleasure. While schools, churches and synagogues do what they can to fill the void, there is really no substitute for warm, caring, involved and concerned parents who are willing and able to help children grow in character and citizenship. If present trends continue, as we enter the high-tech age of the Internet, the future portends disaster. It is becoming increasingly apparent that the Internet is transforming everything we do, including how we shop, communicate, invest, work and learn. The modern age has produced other extraordinarily important mass media, but the Internet is different. As a totally open, interactive technology, there is no built-in-editor, publisher, censor, or even filter. All it takes is one click of the mouse to secure entrance into a Nazi beer hall or a pornographer's library. That same mouse can hack the NASA computers. Of course, the computer is also the gateway to unlocking all the riches of human civilization. The point is that there is no one to direct you. It is absolutely essential, therefore, that youngsters acquire the values and principles that will assure their approaching the Web with a mature sense of judgment. Who else is qualified to perform this supremely important responsiblity but parents? Children don't need their parents for the complex technical skills required to run computers. They need them for the fundamentals of right and wrong, and that is a task that must begin in infancy. It ought to be self-evident to one and all that the option of not getting involved in the Internet is no option. The Internet lies at th heart of what will move life in the twenty-first century. Children will have to be connected; because that is the future. This unbelivably empowering medium will open up millions of new choices; however, not all of them will be appropriate. That's why mothers and fathers will have to do their job. The more potent the microprocessors become, the more urgent that job becomes. We live in a changing world, but the more it changes, the more children's basic needs remain constant. Young people need guidance. No one can provide that guidance more effectively than "your mother your teacher" and "your father your teacher."