April 2005 Condemn The Sin, Not The Sinner By Rabbi Alvin Kass No event in the mind of the Jew occupies a position of greater centrality than the Exodus from Egypt. It is, of course, the essence of the Passover holiday which will soon be upon us. The Ten Commandments, the finest moral code ever formulated, begins with a reference to Egyptian servitude. The purpose of the tsitsit, which the observant Jew wears upon the four corners of his garment, as described in the Bible, is to remember "the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt." The kiddush prayer with which we start every Sabbath and holiday also recalls those days of bondage in Egypt. In view of the perennially repeated injunction to remember the experience of our slavery, it is revealing that our tradition never generalized a detestation of slavery to a detestation of the enslavers. No matter how much we may have hated servitude, we could not bring ourselves to manifest the same feeling of hatred toward those who were responsible. How else do you explain the midrashic comment which tells us that God rebuked the angels for singing "Halleluyah" when the Egyptians were drowning in the Red Sea. "How can you sing Halleluyah," declared the Almighty, "when my children are drowning?" (Megillah 10B) It was similar thinking that led our Sages to permit only half of the Hallel prayer to be recited during the last six days of Passover; for our joy cannot be complete when human beings are destroyed. We likewise pour out ten drops of wine when reciting the Ten Plagues so that the second cup ofw ine at the seder is always less than full. Although wine may gladden the heart of man, that gladness can never be total if any person, no matter how much harm he may have caused, suffers from oppression or tyranny. Hopefully it is that capacity to separate the act from the person which will enable Israel to achieve a rapid reconciliation with their Palestinian neighbors, if Sharon and Abbas follow through on what are very hopeful beginnings. Even though our history, both recent and ancient, is filled with instances of the Israelites suffering at the hands of their foes, our faith, nevertheless, has always refused to deny the basic humanity of our enemies. We believe that people can change their attitudes and their ways; hence, peace remains a real and eagerly sought possibility. The late psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott, based his whole theory of behavior on the importance of maintaining the distinction between acts and people, deeds and character, conduct and personality. In Ginott's opinion, constructive criticism consists of pointing out what has to be done while omitting negative comments about the individual involved. Abusive adjectives should be directed against inanimate entities, not against people. When a chair is called ugly, nothing happens to it. The chari does not feel either insulted or hurt. But when pejorative adjectives are ascribed to a person, something happens to him or her. Reactions of hate, anger, and resentment take place. Fantasies of revenge may ensue, to be followed by guilt about the fantasies, and anxieties about the guilt. Thus, failure to separate a human being from his actions can create a chain reaction with potentially tragic consequences. Because the ancient Israelites succeeded in hating bondage without losing a sense of compassion for the Egyptian people as human beings, their descendants three thousand years later may ultimately find it easier to take a first step towards what, with God's help, may ultimately become a complete Mideast settlement. If we too can manage to make a distinction between our disdain for many of the actions by current regimes in places like Iran, Syria, and North Korea, and an abiding empathy for the people of those nations, there is hope for international harmony. Miryom, Sarah, Lewis and Sarah, Danny and Debby, along with Judah and Bennett, join me in wishing you and yours a very happy, joyous and peaceful Passover.