September 2004 You Can't Have One Without The Other By Rabbi Alvin Kass It is written in the Book of Ecclesiastes: "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which has been planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance." All of us can testify to this truth in a personal way. We know what it is to sing, dnace, and rejoice at a bar and bat mitzvah; as well as to cry, mourn, and bewail at the loss of a loved one. Often we wish that joy was the only experience we needed to deal with. But wishing cannot alter the fact that life is not structured that way. You can't have the good without the bad; you can't have the joy without the sorrow. When adversity strikes, all we can do is bow our heads and discipline our hearts in humble submission to God's inscrutable will. We need also to remember the admonition of Ecclesiastes that change is the most fundamental law of life. To expect joy without sorrow or life without death is tantamount to having summer without winter. Yearn though you may for the pleasures and warmth of summer to endure indefinitely, the ineluctable reality is that, with or without your consent, the days are getting shorter, the shadows of night are deepening, and the fragrance of autumn is already abundantly evident. There are some who believe that virtue, piety, and goodness entitle them to an exemption from the sorrows of life. Such misapprehension, however, can only result in soul-shattering disillusionment. Nothing that we do or say can guarantee that we or our loved ones will be saved from "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." As the Psalmist declared: "Can man expect to live forever and never go down to the grave when he sees that even the wise die, just as the fool and the knave do perish, and leave all their wealth to others." Why God has made the world this way and why He does what He does we may never know. We are finite creatures who often fail miserably in our efforts to comprehend and penetrate the thoughts and ways of an Infinite Diety. The Almighty has in His compassion, nevertheless, enabled us to know enough that whatever befalls us we may remain filled with the confidence that we can never move permanently beyond the grace of His love and protection. As we recite three times a day in the Amidah, God is memit u'm'chayeh, i.e., the same God who takes life also gives life and He "keeps faith with those who sleep in the dust" and "calls the departed to life everlasting." As we stand on the threshold of a new year, we are filled with apprehension and anxiety regarding what it may have in store for us, our loved ones, all Israel, and the entire world. Even as I pray that 5765 will be marked for each and every one of you by a predominance of joy over sorrow, mnay we have the maturity to recognize that sorrow is an inevitable ingredient in every life. Perhaps more important than the specifics of our destiny is that we possess the capacity to respond with courage, dignity, confidence, optimism, faith and hope to whatever befalls us. Miryom, Sarah, Lewis and Sarah, Danny and Debby, Judah and Bennett join me in wishing you all a L'shanah tovah tikatevu - "May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year."